


When My Dreams Began To Fly

by MFLuder



Category: Heroes (TV)
Genre: Christmas, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, POV First Person, Schmoop, Sibling Incest, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 08:36:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17915474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MFLuder/pseuds/MFLuder
Summary: Of course, you have to share it with Nathan, but you've always been willing to share anything with him.





	When My Dreams Began To Fly

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted January 2, 2007, at [my DW](https://mf-luder-xf.dreamwidth.org/80926.html). Written for heroes_holidays on LJ.

“Nathan?”

“Hmmm?”

“Take me flying.”

A pause.

“Okay.”

***********************************

You always wondered what it would be like to reach the highest mountain peak. After all, not even most mountain climbers could get to the tip-top. It just wasn't something an ordinary person could do.

You always wondered what it would be like to zoom across the land so fast you didn't know if you were in China or Chinatown.

You always wondered what it felt like to see from a bird's eye view. To feel like a bird: free and windswept.

You always wondered what it would be like to be special for one minute. Something that no one else was. Not your family, not the world. You'd always been the grounded one in everyday life, but your dreams had wings, reaching beyond the moon.

It was when you were eight that the Challenger exploded. You remember being so excited for the launch, unsure what was going to happen besides a big 'boom' and people hurtling into space, but you remember your whole family gathering around the TV; the maid had made two big bowls of popcorn and your parents shared one while you and your brother got the other. You were sitting in the crook of his legs, bowl resting on your knees. He had to reach around your body to get any and you'd snuggled into his warmth like always—your parents berated you saying you were too old, but Nathan had never minded.

You watched in awe as boosters lit up and your brother squeezed you tight. You hadn't understood at first what had happened when it exploded, only that something was wrong as your mother dropped the popcorn bowl with a small gasp and your dad whispered an, “Oh, my God.” Then, once you knew what the ball of fire and white light meant, your eyes welled up and you asked your brother, “Are they dead? All the 'stranauts?” He nodded and you turned back to the TV, watching now in horror, tears streaming down your face, your brother slowly wiping them away.

Who knew that was how your life would be? That you'd go through with awe and excitement only to crash and burn, your ambitions the Challenger while your brother's were Apollo 11.

And yet you still looked to the sky, every chance you got. Just like NASA, you never gave up hope. You still longed to soar, to touch the sky with your fingertips.

****************************************

“Pete?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you love me?”

A pause.

“You're my brother.”

“There's got to be more to it than that.”

“That's the only reason I've ever needed.”

*************************************

Christmas has always made you nostalgic. Especially since Nathan left for the military. Even more now that Dad's dead. This is your first Christmas without him. The first Christmas after the world should have ended. But it didn't. And you couldn't help feeling a little morose and a lot happy.

Of course, you can't remember the first five or so Christmases your family spent together. But you still have a few things. Nathan found them once and yelled at you for being a sentimental pack rat. But when you brought him into an embrace, you could tell he was pleased you'd kept the cards he'd made for you at ages eight, nine, and ten. You also kept a few non-paper items, including the blanket you got when you were three and a stuffed dinosaur from Nathan when you were seven. He never found those, or you wouldn't have lived it down.

As you go through older memories, you remember more. You remember the first girl you ever bought a gift for. Maggie Smith with light blonde curls, and it had been a sparkly purple jewelry box that fifteen-year-old Nathan had helped you pick out.

Going into more current memories you don't remember gifts. You remember huge crowds of people, Congressmen, aides, other high-ranking friends of your parents. But every Christmas Day was spent just you, Nathan, and your parents. For one day a year it was just the family; your mother would make gingerbread and your dad would practice his shaky piano skills so you could all sing carols.

You were fifteen and on your way to open gifts when you and Nathan crashed into each other on the way down. Right beneath randomly placed mistletoe. Even in your mind today, that moment moves in slow motion as you both let out a huff of air, then glanced up simultaneously. Nathan, at that time about four inches taller than you, looked down and you couldn't help when your mouth fell open in a breath. You remember the look of confusion that crossed his face before a soft light appeared in his eyes and he leaned down, kissing you. There was no tongue but it wasn't chaste. Not like the times in the past when you'd kissed each other on the mouth as your parents had raised you to. But it was sweet and surprising and you just stood there when he slipped by you down the stairs without a word.

You hadn't been able to look straight at him the rest of the day, but you both caught each other sneaking sidelong glances that you only hoped your parents never saw.

The next Christmas he'd been gone and the one after that. But he was there for your eighteenth and this time, the kiss beneath the mistletoe wasn't unexpected.

Your favorite time of year is Christmas. Everything smells of cinnamon, and evergreen, the halls glow cream and gold and the windows reflect tiny prisms of red and green from the tree. Your family is together.

But most of all, you think of Nathan.

**************************************

“How can you marry her?”

“I love her, Pete!”

“But I thought you loved me? That we were right together!”

“I can't exactly marry my own brother! What we've been doing...it can't go on! I just...”

“Shut up. You lied. Just like Dad. Both of you are so self-centered!”

“What do you want me to do?”

A pause.

“Go to hell.”

***************************************

You remember the first time you made love. It was New Year's Eve, your eighteenth year. He was supposed to be at Dad's bigwig party and you were supposed to be at Elizabeth's. Instead, you'd both skipped out and no one was at home, no one planned to be home until long after the ball had dropped.

It was a night of many firsts. You'd lost your virginity at sixteen and given your first blow job at seventeen. But for the first time, you were doing all these things with someone you loved. You ran your hands over hard muscles, toned from training, and you looked at your brother like he was a god. He held you like you might break, nuzzled at your neck like you were some high school girl—but you didn't mind all that much. You kissed at midnight and came shortly thereafter, neither of you paying attention to Dick Clark and the cheers that sounded quietly from the TV.

You remember the first time you fucked. He was home on leave and you'd gone out to a club in downtown New York. You were both drunk and horny and while at the beginning of the night he'd encouraged you to dance with girls, three hours later he got jealous and dragged your ass out of the club, shoved you against a wall and fucked you hard without any prep, whispering “Mine,” the entire time.

You came only a minute later, and the pain wasn't even that bad because you were always ready for him.

*******************************************

“Nathan, why do we do this?”

“What?”

“ _This_. Isn't our family messed up enough?”

“It's broken, but I always thought we were okay.”

“I just...”

“Do you want to stop?”

A pause.

“Never.”

****************************************

You both step outside and he wraps his arms around you and you feel yourselves lifting from the ground, literally walking on air. He whispers, “Ready?” and you nod and shut your eyes tight when you both rocket into the air, faster than an airplane could ever take off.

You open your eyes again when you feel the cold air of the upper atmosphere and grin into your older brother's face.

“I still can't believe you're flying.”

“ _We're_ flying, Peter,” and he lets go of you and sure enough, you are floating beside him.

It never fails to amaze you, that after everything, you turned out special. Of course, you have to share it with Nathan, but you've always been willing to share anything with him. Besides, technically, you have more powers than him. You just have to be around the right kind of people.

But all you've ever wanted was your brother and to be able to fly. You think it works out rather well.

You soar about the world, passing over the Capital, over the plains, over the twinkling lights of Vegas, before you hit the Los Angeles metropolis. You head for Mexico and skim the Gulf with your fingertips. You twist and turn and tumble and the sound of your brother's laughter echoes in your ears and back over New York you kiss, long and lingering and sweet. You settle down in the alley behind your apartment and together you climb up and into your bed, hands mapping each other's bodies as they never could the sky.

And when you both come, you notice you're hovering just over the bed, no longer tangled in its sheets and you let out a small laugh, one of pure joy, and Nathan kisses you and it's all you could want.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow and chat with me [on tumblr](http://mf-luder-xf.tumblr.com)!


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